5 things not to say to a florist...

A woman walks into a florist… I know, there's a joke in there somewhere, right? Well, as I found out this weekend, some florists can be just as intimidating as your average high end fashion boutique. I like flowers, I can just about tell a carnation from an orchid and a rose from a daisy. I've never pretended to know much about flowers (though I wish I did), but I know what I like and I know what look I want to achieve when I buy flowers. So, back to last Saturday when I decided I wanted some flowers and walked into a florist. Amongst other things, I picked up a little bouquet that to me looked like tiny daffodils. So (I know, silly me!), I asked the florist whether these were indeed "mini daffodils". Cue raised eyebrows, clenched jaw and a voice indicating forced friendliness which duly informed me "these are narcissi" (or at least that's what I understood). Er, ok, pardon my uneducated presence… I hastily bought whatever I could find that would fit into my "scheme" and made my way out. A couple of days later, sense of humour restored, this all made me think about other things that probably shouldn't be said to a florist. Here's my little list. You have been warned!

  1. "Oh, are these [insert exotic flower name, preferably in Latin]?" Chances are you're wrong and will be made to feel like an idiot.
  2. Asking for Lily of the Valley in the middle of summer or peonies in November. They're not in season! You might of course have a sympathetic florist who will be able to have them delivered from the other side of the world, but it's going to cost a bomb.
  3. "These don't look very fresh, do you have another bunch?" How ever dare you?!
  4. "I'll have some of these, one of these, and three of this one, no need to put them together, I'm really good at that myself…" Even if you are, they're the professionals, better not to tell them what your plan is and insult their creativity.
  5. "I looove roses, but could you take all the thorns off please, my hands are just so delicate." *Florist rolls eyes and then charges you double*

PS: The flowers below? No clue, but I liked the pot and the bulbs...

PPS: Most florists are actually very lovely, helpful and know that we don't have a clue...

Spring Bulbs
Spring Bulbs
Spring Bulbs